Review: Take Me Back

Take Me Back
Take Me Back by Meghan March
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

Closing my eyes I feel to the very edges of my world
I can feel with stark realization the existence of both the good and the bad
Everything bumps and slides around me as I explore
Navigating my own world leaves me raw and bleeding
Never giving up, I attempt to organize this maddening chaos
I try to put the bad in a corner to box up later
The good I pull towards me and then release to rain down and surround me
Happiness fills me and yet a bare, emptiness still remains between the cracks of my soul
Confused, I work resolutely to pack up and hide the ugly and painful moments
But no matter how hard I try, they refuse to be pushed away
Instead, they fly around me like dust kicked up by a restless wind
Whispering that they aren’t evil but markers to point me to the good times
Angry, I swipe each one and force them into the biggest black hole that I can find with my being
Finally satisfied, I look around and smile at only the good reminders swarming around me
Not understanding my continued discomfort, I begin to touch each good thing one only to find them fade and disappear
Shocked and scared, I freeze and begin to panic
This can’t happen when I depend on them to keep me going
When they fade, what will happen to me?
Will I still be me?
Will I matter?
Will I live?
Then, a warmth and comfort I never felt infuses every part of me
Startled, I try to hide from it but fail miserably as it invades all that I am
This peace obliterates the black hole in my heart freeing all of the bad
All of who I am is now free to haunt me
However, instead it all begins to heal me
It seals the cracks in my heart
It smooths over the jagged spots
It pulls me together
It knits my entire being
Then out of nowhere this comfort morphs into a dangerous hope
Just as quickly it splits into a blinding love
Leaving me reeling and off kilter, I vainly fight to hold it back
I don’t want to disappear when I can’t contain that which I am not worthy of
Tears falling down my face, I plead and beg only for it to fall on deaf ears
I am engulfed in this hurricane of unwanted and yet much needed forces that transform and rebuild
I watch helplessly as my world is remade before my very eyes
Can I withstand this force that imposes itself upon me?
I need to take control, don’t I?
I have to shape my future and not allow anything to distract me, right?
How can I be independent when I allow things like this into my life?
What if I don’t have the chance to object?
What if I don’t have a choice?
What if I was always meant to be more then I was?
Do I dare to hope for this?
Can I even utter these words?
Just as quickly as those thought come, they are dismissed just as quickly
I am held by a glorious light
My heart is full to bursting
I can’t catch my breath as intoxicating love surrounds me
It flows through me showing me things I never imagined
A fierce hope is now the center of my personal universe
I am made new, and I can’t help to love me
I savor and cherish every second fearful it will leave me at any time
When life threatens to destroy this paradise, I am left with no answers
In order to preserve this haven, I push it aside and force it to dim
I can walk away and still keep it, right?
Except life isn’t fair and the heart doesn’t live in the confines of life
Will I disappear from committing this treason?
Is this what hell feels like?
I scream for someone to save me from myself
I desperately flounder for a sense of reason and hope
Can we live in a world overrun with fear and despair?
Do we truly get a second chance to correct a grave wrong?
Do I even deserve more?

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